Reflection

The Pathological Truth Journal

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I have been going through my husband’s documents.  He had begun writing a few interesting pieces.  Drama in theology and scripture had always been a topic that had fascinated him.  He had hoped to do more work in that area.   My husband was mildly dyslexic.  I have tried to correct the major errors that I found as this was an unfinished work.  However, I found it interesting and it reminds me of speaking with him and how he tied together his love of the great philosophers and his love of God.

-Jessica


Theological Tropes:
The Structure Of The Spiritual Life

An attempt at a systematic theology by Rev. Gerard T. Sparaco

Introduction

The origin of this present inquiry began more than twenty-five years ago with my first encounter with Plato.  The reading list for the fall semester of Freshman year at St. John’s College is dominated by the author.  Following Homer’s Illiad and Odyssey in seminar, the first work we read was Meno, followed by Phaedo, Theatetis, The Statesman, and of course The Republic and the Symposium.

Reading these works for the first time were one of the most confusing and frustrating experiences in my life.  There were two issues specifically that intrigued me.

The first was the very form of Plato’s writings.  Instead of laying out his philosophy in tightly argued prose, he chose rather to write in dialogue, as if he were writing a play.  Each interloquer played his particular role, asking questions and answering the questions Socrates posed to them.  These were  real people from the fourth century BC Greece whose identities were well know at the time of writing, but who were largely lost on readers today.

And sometimes, it seemed to me, the topic of the discussion would meander and take various unexpected twists and turns.  (But in general, it was far from what I was expecting philosophy to be.  later in the semester, when we began to read Aristotle, I felt more at home. )

Insight into why Plato chose the dialogue form for his writings was a topic of discussion.  It is meant to replicate the so-called “Socratic Method.”  Through questions and answers leading to even more questions, the reader was firmly placed in the process of enlightenment, to be trained how to think philosophically.  And, a productive way to read the dialogues is not necessarily to “capture” the concepts (to use an image from Theatitis), but to place yourself in the roles of the people in the dialogue other than Socrates.

This ran against what I was doing.  I wanted to try to understand everything Socrates was trying to say and truly understand his philosophy.  But, once I began to imagine myself as Meno asking about whether or not virtue can be taught or Alcibiades speaking about love in the Symposium, it made much more sense.  I was brought back into fourth century Athens and Socrates became more real to me.  It was written in dialogue form, one that mimics drama.

In  the second year of St. John’s we moved away from the Ancient Greeks into more familiar territory.  Much of the fall semester was occupied with copious readings and seminars on the Old and New Testaments with prolonged discussions on the Gospels.

What struck me about the gospels was all of the questioning.  This is most obvious in the Gospel According to John which is a series of questions.  Yes, Jesus preached more than he questioned, but the questions Jesus asked lead to the revelation of his very identity as God.

But much of my early reading of the Gospels, even during my time in seminary many years later, focused upon the words in the gospel as doctrinal propositions.  I focused upon the languages and tried to find the meaning behind the words, and thus understand why doctrines were formulated from such words.

It wasn’t until much later when I saw the forest for the trees.  I never really questioned why the gospels were written as they were.  The Evangelists, in wanting to proclaim Jesus Christ, didn’t write prose documents detailing their beliefs and decisions and teachings.  Rather, they chose to write about their witness of Christ in the form of a dramatic narrative with dialogue at the heart of the story.

As such, instead of focusing primarily understanding the words of Christ as sedes doctrinae, it became more productive to read Scripture as if I were one of the interloquers.  Instead of imaging myself as Christ, I put myself in the role of Peter, John, James, Judas, etc, and see Christ as they saw him.  In short, by placing myself in the narrative in one of the minor roles, Scripture began to open much much more to me.

Much reading the dialogues of Plato by placing yourself in the role of the audience, so does reading the Gospel as one of the initial disciples of Christ reveal a much more clear understanding of who Jesus and what he has done for us.

This revelation should initially teach us that the spiritual life, the one where we follow the Lord, is basically dramatic in form with Christ as the substance.  In popular theology there existed mystery plays and others that would deal with the lives of the saints to edify popular piety, but Christian theology never really paid much attention to the dramatic narrative nature of revelation.

Early Lutheranism practiced an early form of narrative theology.   This can be seen chiefly in Martin Luther’s appreciation for music an hymnody and the seventeenth century theologian Johann Gerhard, who wrote his Examination on The Suffering And Death Of The Lord as a five act play.

It wasn’t until the twentieth century when narrative theology began to be formulated.  The earliest articulation of this hermeneutic arose out of the historical-critical method of biblical interpretation including Davis Strauss and Rudolf Bultmann.  They viewed the bible as literature and appreciated the literary form and style.

But their agenda of “demythologizing” scripture actually served in detracting in any real attempt at narrative criticisms.  Instead of inquiring into the literary merits and themes of Scripture, their work served only to speculate about the motives of the authors.

Narrative criticims as a viable hermeneutic was formulated by George Arthur Lindbeck

Advancing further, theologians began to look at the totality of the written works, and to notice similar patterns and themes in scripture.  Ultimately, an full-blown theological aesthetic was formulated by the Catholic theologian Hans Urs Von Balthasar.

Ultimately, an full-blown theological aesthetic was formulated by the Catholic theologian Hans Urs Von Balthasar.

(There is a break in the pages.)

What also struck me as strange was the constant discussion of “love” and “beauty.”  My prejudice as a seventeen year old wanting to read philosophy was that it dealt with big concepts such as “truth,” “God” and “being.”  It seemed to me at the time all this talk about “love” and “beauty” were a regression into junior high school discussions of crushes and the like.  But I learned that the heart of the Platonic dialogues is that “beauty” is a quality of being that reaches into you, changes you though love, and makes you a better person.

(There is a break in the pages.)

The importance of narrative criticism as a valid method for Scriptural hermeneutics.  Bathasar’s theo-drama.

His basis in Catholic theology lends a heavy emphasis upon a particular ontological foundation.  But the issue for Lutheranism is our basis upon a forensic theology.  Martin Luther’s Babylonian captivity of the church.

Mar
10
Sermons

My husband passed away on February 21, 2013.  He had just started a position with Risen Savior Lutheran Church in Chandler.  He was very happy and very excited.  The congregation was wonderful and we both looked forward to being there for whatever time we would be there.  I gathered some of my husband’s sermons that I found online. 

sermons

I sat in on a very interesting discussion on contemporary and traditional services.  I will tell you right now I think both are valuable as long as they are rooted in God’s Word.  I also believe there is room for both just as I think there is room for boisterous praise and quiet contemplation.  However, there is a reason why liturgies came to be as they are and a good contemporary service needs to consider some issues that face that kind of service.  I have seen great services that address the issues and make for a fun time and others where I have felt so completely lost.

1. Know when you need to lead others and when it’s a solo.
An organist is there to facilitate the worship service with the music.  It is a leadership role that is solely there to support the congregation.  Even those who can not read any music can pick out the melody played.  First the hymns are written that way and secondly an organist is there to facilitate participation in worship.  Very rarely will an organist start a hymn and then change to a 20 minute solo because they feel moved to do so.  In a contemporary worship service there have been many times where the band feels moved to change the tempo, have the only singer sing a counter melody or do any number of fun things.  I’m not saying “fun things” sarcastically.  It is fun to do that and it usually sounds good.   So, cool except the congregation gets left behind and completely lost unless they have sung with the band (or the song) enough times to get where they are going.  As the point is to relate to outsiders and involve them in the worship it is sort of self defeating to the purpose.  Also, as there is usually little or no written material the leadership role of the band and worship leader are increased.

2. The song format.
A hymn is generally written as A A A A or verse 1, 2,3, 4 and so on.  There are exceptions but even they are repetitive and by the time you get halfway through you know the tune.  This can be a good or a bad thing depending on who you ask.  The issue that contemporary music faces is that it is generally written as A A B A A B A A CCC or verse 1, 2, chorus, verse 3, 4, chorus, verse 5, 6, and finally a repeated variation of either the verse or chorus at the end.  In other words it is written as a song.  A new person might be able to catch the verse or the chorus but rarely all of it.  Add to that the solo like singing of the band leader and it becomes even more difficult to get into it.  So, pick something that other people who don’t have the music can sing after hearing once and use the other music for others to listen.

3.  Do what YOU do well.
There are two types of contemporary services.  The first is a group of people who have specific talents and cultural leanings who get together and want to share it with a community that also shares that culture.  An example would be a polka worship service directed at other polka aficionados.  (Don’t laugh.  I have been to that service and it was very cool.)  The second type of contemporary service is one run by people in order to entice those people over there.  You know, those ones that they really don’t know that much about.  An example would be a bunch of speed metal bands who hate polka running a polka worship service.  If people have the genuine desire, talent and will to make a contemporary service it is a much more authentic and enthusiastic in the response by the people involved.  If on the other hand the congregation is only doing it out of some attempt to appeal to people that they don’t know then it is different.  The experience can seem very fake to outsiders.  Not only that but it can be uncomfortable for the congregation and everyone else involved.  Outsiders tend to respond to the Word of God and the climate of the congregation and far less to what type of liturgy is used because to outsiders all liturgy is a little confusing.

4. Connotation
Do you know that the Ode to Joy used by Beethoven in his 9th symphony (chorale tune used as a popular hymn) really is not Christian and talks about gods and magic?  Do you know that some organists will not play Wagner’s Bridal March?  Do you know why?  Probably not because that music is over a 150 years old.  (If you do know then you are awesome you musicologist, historian or Wikipedia reader!)  Now do you know what “My Humps” by The Black Eyed Peas is about?  This issue doesn’t bother me but I know it bothers others.  Even though it can be used as an advantage we can not ignore that there is cultural connotation to music.  This connotation is only erased slowly as generations die off.  I want to state clearly that any genre of music can be used to God’s purpose and any music can be used secularly and using music both ways is fine.  Still, if you use a certain genre just be patient with the explanations you will need to give to the people who associate that genre with a specific song that was heard over the radio that one time in the car and was really terrible.  You will need lots and lots of patience.

5. Contemporary Christian music
Alright.  Fine.  Let’s bypass the whole issue by using established contemporary Christian music like the stuff you hear on the Christian stations.  Cool.  First do an experiment for me.  Turn on the radio and with your eyes closed turn the dial until you hit the station that plays that kind of contemporary Christian music.  Most likely you found it pretty quickly.  Why?  That kind of contemporary Christian music in an effort to sort of be all things to all people is its own genre.  While there is overlap just like most modern music you can easily tell which is which solely by the music itself (not the words).  It uses modern instruments but it isn’t really rock or pop or folk or anything else.  Since contemporary Christian is its own thing that does get around the issue of connotation.  So, like before if this is what you love and your gift then by all means go for it.  There is a lot of modern Christian music that I do like.  However, to many Christians the point is to get a common point with secular culture so that the worship service is relatable.  So what is the problem with established popular contemporary Christian music then?  As its own genre it is not the secular music people know.  They don’t know the tunes and the genre sounds kind of like other stuff but not quite.  It can be just as alien to someone outside of the church as chant is to most churchgoers these days.

6. You can’t please anyone.
I’m not just talking about the dissent in the established congregation who are afraid of guitars.  The greatest reason I hear for contemporary worship is “to bring in the youth”.  Alright.  Which youth?  I don’t mean the good or bad kids.  Do you remember being in junior high and high school?  Did everyone listen to exactly the same kind of music.  Heck, even my brother and I who are close in age and lived in the same house listened to completely different music in high school.  (He liked country and I liked hard core gangster rap.)  Whether it is an age group or an ethnic group to say that one group automatically likes one kind of music and will draw them in is kind of insulting.  So if you lean toward folksy and soulful acoustic guitar you will exclude the punk kids.  If you use hip hop you exclude the kids who listen to country.  And if you try to include everything in your genre then no one likes it.

7. I don’t want to clap
This is my personal one in here.  I don’t want to clap.  I don’t want to raise my hands above my head.  That isn’t how I grew up showing reverence to God and it’s uncomfortable to me.  I recognize that many people were and that is cool.  The non-clappers such as myself always get called out by the band or worship leader.  “I see some people not clapping.”  “Come on, get into it!”  And so on in order to generate energy.  If you clap then you clap to worship the Lord.  If you don’t then you refrain to worship the Lord.  Both are fine.  It could also be a sign that the person doesn’t know what the heck is going on in which case calling attention to it just embarrasses someone more. 

8. Transcending the limits.
Traditional services can work as effective outreach.  Contemporary services can work as effective outreach.  Compline services can work as effective outreach.  What you do can be a miserable failure too if you try to reduce God’s Word to a certain cultural identity.  Ultimately God’s Word is not dependent on our cultural context of it.  It never needs to be reframed (translation is a different matter).  Our cultural identity can give us gifts to express the Truth but that is all because our identity as fallen, broken and sinful humans transcends any other identifying factor.  So does our standing as redeemed Christians.  We need to understand that at our core we are all in the same boat.  I’m not saying we can’t use what we know and what other people know.  That would be silly.  I’m saying it’s not you who is doing anything but it’s God who is working through His Word.  This is most important in de-politicizing this debate.  In fact the sides do talk about each other like Democrats and Republicans instead of brothers and sisters in Christ.  The traditional side thinks the contemporary people are all heretics.  The contemporary side thinks the traditionalists hate people (hypocritical heretics).  This isn’t true.  Both sides have very valid points and details that need to be considered.  We can’t listen to one another if we are tearing each other down.

1. This Is Just A Vacation
I’ve worked most of my life.  I really needed a break.  I can finally get some rest!

2. Sending Out Resumes To Appropriate Job Positions
It shouldn’t take too long to get a new job.

3. Work on Dream Projects
Now I have time to finally work on that screenplay about a Korean restaurant in America.

4.Bills
I hope something comes in soon but we are getting by fine. 

5. Evaluation
I wonder why I’m not getting any job offers.  Maybe I should examine my strengths and have someone look over my resume.

6. Finish Projects Out Of Boredom
Well, the garage is clean.  I think there is time to start on the basement.

7. More Bills
How can our heating bill be $200?

8. Desperate Re-evaluation
Maybe I was always meant to be a cattle roper or a clown.

9. Sending Out Resumes Anywhere
At least the Colonel is willing to pay me if I fry for him.

10. Acceptance of Any Job
Yes. I definitely want to join the world of professional competitive bug wrestling.

And if you want to hire me I am still looking.

This is an amazing video from Whitestone Motion Picture.  As someone who grew up steeped in Civil War and post-Civil War era language, costumes and Appalachian scenery (and accents) that part grabbed me initially.  The story is incredible and very powerful.  The music is perfect.  Really.  Check it out.

Blood On My Name – Vimeo

Oct
12
8:13AM

8:13 by JMS

This is also the piece in the nifty little play box down at the bottom there (different arrangement).  I woke up this morning with music in my head which is very very typical for me.  Unfortunately, the sound evaporates quickly and all that is usually left is a feeling.  So, I was extremely pleased that I was able to get at least a version of the piece written down before that happened.  By 8:13AM I was finished sketching all of the parts.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Oct
12
Manifesto

We are screwed.  Every single one of us on this planet is completely screwed.  We will never live in harmony.  Life won’t even be close to perfect.  It will be so far from perfect that it will often be downright shitty.  No one can understand one another.  All of us listen to our own faults as we hear others.  The jealous believe all people are jealous.  The cowardly believe everyone is afraid.  We will never get along.

Despite all of the protest to the contrary the self is all that matters to each of us.  You can not infringe upon me and if you try then I have the right to destroy you.  Then the biggest, the meanest, those most willing to completely destroy others are the only ones to win so everyone gets a little tougher.  The tension increases a little more until we are on the brink of war.  And we fight to win.  Brother against brother, daughter against mother, neighbor against neighbor until we are all dead.

This is not a call to peace.  We can’t do that.  We can not love, we can not be kind because we can’t trust one another for any length of time.  So, this is not a call to some idealistic and unreasonable goal. 

This is a call to repent.  This is a call to truly forgive, to erase the sentence and the guilt entirely.  That is the most of which we are capable.  Of course, even this much we get wrong most of the time.  Every time someone asks for forgiveness give it because everyone needs it.  All of us are at times hypocrites, cruel, spiteful and full of hate.  All of us need to be forgiven.

Today my husband and I celebrated our anniversary.  It has been 13 years.  I am so blessed to have a man who loves me as much as he does.  So today we went out for a bit.  We had lunch at Seoul Grill in Glendale and grilled Korean style for the first time.  (Thank you to the people there for taking care of us.)  The people who work there are very nice and asked us if we had any other plans.  We didn’t.  There were no major plans other than to go home and watch LOST together after eating lunch.

So, we had a small feast together.  It was a lot of fun and the food was great.  But it was even more special just because my husband was with me.  He is without a doubt my most favorite person in the world and even after 13 years together I enjoy spending time with him.  I like to go out and I like to do lots of different activities.  Still, it matters more to me who I am doing those things with more than what I am doing.  A good person can make a bad situation into something tolerable and a good situation into something great.  I am thankful that I have that person and I get to be married to him.

Sep
27
Clover

My big tricolored rabbit is not doing well.  He was adamant that he had to be near me and then had some sort of episode followed by rapid breathing.  Although he looks fine now, alert and without any pain something is not right with him.  Of course, this happens when my husband is out of town, I don’t have a car and I have $20 to my name.  All I can do is monitor him and treat any symptoms that I see and the morbid task of looking up what I should do if he passes away before my husband returns.

Every rabbit is different and they all have certain likes and dislikes.  Rabbits can be extremely shy or aggressive or snugglebunnies.  The personality can also change depending on the owner and when you have a rabbit that trusts you then you have a great friend.  You will have an animal that has enough force of will to tell you when you have upset them and then sit down with you and groom you if you feel bad.  They are prey animals and pick up on every aspect of your body language.  They also teach you to watch them (and others) so that you can communicate better.  They live with the constant stress that they could be lunch at any moment but they never let the fear of others entirely stop their lives.  They are amazing animals.

I am happy that I had and have these rabbits but I can’t write any more at this time.

About a week ago I got an email from a name that was slightly familiar but I thought was probably forged or something like that.   A friend of mine said that the person’s email address had been stolen.  The email was hacked and the password was changed.  The hacker was then trying to pass himself or herself (as I don’t want to imply that women can’t also be lying cheating thieves) as the person to whom the email originally belonged.  The scammer said that he or she was the person and had been mugged and desperately needed help.  As I don’t even know the real person it would be absurd for me to be contacted in a time of crisis anyway.  (Because I do not know the person I have changed the name used as I don’t want an innocent name splashed all over like this.)

Anyway, I replied.  We aren’t finished yet and I will update this as replies are sent, which should be daily.  Click the link to read  the entirety what has happened so far.

Scam Bait