The Pathological Truth Journal

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Archive for October, 2011


8:13 by JMS

This is also the piece in the nifty little play box down at the bottom there (different arrangement).  I woke up this morning with music in my head which is very very typical for me.  Unfortunately, the sound evaporates quickly and all that is usually left is a feeling.  So, I was extremely pleased that I was able to get at least a version of the piece written down before that happened.  By 8:13AM I was finished sketching all of the parts.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


We are screwed.  Every single one of us on this planet is completely screwed.  We will never live in harmony.  Life won’t even be close to perfect.  It will be so far from perfect that it will often be downright shitty.  No one can understand one another.  All of us listen to our own faults as we hear others.  The jealous believe all people are jealous.  The cowardly believe everyone is afraid.  We will never get along.

Despite all of the protest to the contrary the self is all that matters to each of us.  You can not infringe upon me and if you try then I have the right to destroy you.  Then the biggest, the meanest, those most willing to completely destroy others are the only ones to win so everyone gets a little tougher.  The tension increases a little more until we are on the brink of war.  And we fight to win.  Brother against brother, daughter against mother, neighbor against neighbor until we are all dead.

This is not a call to peace.  We can’t do that.  We can not love, we can not be kind because we can’t trust one another for any length of time.  So, this is not a call to some idealistic and unreasonable goal. 

This is a call to repent.  This is a call to truly forgive, to erase the sentence and the guilt entirely.  That is the most of which we are capable.  Of course, even this much we get wrong most of the time.  Every time someone asks for forgiveness give it because everyone needs it.  All of us are at times hypocrites, cruel, spiteful and full of hate.  All of us need to be forgiven.

Today my husband and I celebrated our anniversary.  It has been 13 years.  I am so blessed to have a man who loves me as much as he does.  So today we went out for a bit.  We had lunch at Seoul Grill in Glendale and grilled Korean style for the first time.  (Thank you to the people there for taking care of us.)  The people who work there are very nice and asked us if we had any other plans.  We didn’t.  There were no major plans other than to go home and watch LOST together after eating lunch.

So, we had a small feast together.  It was a lot of fun and the food was great.  But it was even more special just because my husband was with me.  He is without a doubt my most favorite person in the world and even after 13 years together I enjoy spending time with him.  I like to go out and I like to do lots of different activities.  Still, it matters more to me who I am doing those things with more than what I am doing.  A good person can make a bad situation into something tolerable and a good situation into something great.  I am thankful that I have that person and I get to be married to him.