Before I start let me tell you of my new invention. I am going to create a computer with a robotic arm/hand combo. This hand will gently tap you on the shoulder when you are watching a video (or reading a column) and scroll down toward the comments. A pop up will appear to remind you that there is nothing worthwhile in the comments section. The hand will also slap you if you start to type.
This is obviously a joke but I have made the mistake of reading Youtube comments again. These were not videos of any contentious subject. I wasn’t watching about feminism or immigration or political whatever. I watched Epic Rap Battles of History and a video where a kid bought his mom her dream car. Heck, I could have watched kittens playing and probably found the same comments. Anyway, the comments I found most often were some variations of “you should just kill yourself” and “I hope you die painfully”.
Can we, as the general human populace, stop saying those kinds of comments? Can we stop the idea that if someone does or thinks something (even if we think it is dumb) that we should then wish death upon that person? Granted, this is usually said by miserable people who are too young to know what hateful words those are. I am also aware that these sorts of comments aren’t anything new. Hatred has existed in the heart of humanity for a long time. Still, it’s disturbing how many “just die” comments can be easily found. It isn’t funny and it usually isn’t true that the world would be better off without someone. Even after reading the comments section I still believe most people aren’t psychotic killers who want to destroy people. (And even then, it’s not about hate but rather the safety of everyone.)
In his lifetime my husband said some dumb things to me. He was brilliant but we’re all fallible. (To be fair I probably said twice as many dumb things to him.) My husband didn’t kill himself. He did wait too long to get help. He was too concerned with the possibility of financial burden on me to call the ambulance in time. Then he died while I tried resuscitating him. It wasn’t pretty and it was painful for him. There was a part of him that honestly believed it would be better to die than to burden me and the world. Am I better off? No. Is the world better off? No. Has any misconception he ever had disappeared from the world? Of course not. His death solved absolutely nothing. It’s been over a year his family, friends and I still miss him terribly.
When anyone invites death upon another person whether in a comments section or in person they invite misery upon everyone that person touched. Of course, it probably won’t happen and anyone saying “kill yourself” will just look like a miserable jerk. Still, why would anyone even want that for other people? Why make things worse for others when things can already be difficult?
More than all of this pondering we all need to realize that words have power. I don’t mean something like the power to conjure fire and kill others. Our words contain our will. They are where we direct ourselves and the tiny insignificant part of the world we can control. Words can also help and hinder our own emotional state. If I were to show such dreadful judgement over someone who says something stupid what happens when I say something stupid? Heck, from the time I could speak to the right now I have said a lot of dumb stuff. Sure, I can cover it and be a hypocrite but there will linger the feeling that since I said something stupid that I am no longer worthy of life myself. When those words become a habit, repeated to others and to myself, my emotions and will change. That death that the stupid deserve is then my own.
Finally, let’s say we think the person who says something dumb is simply a troll. Well, we’ve all done troll-like things sometimes. We are all capable of simply ignoring that kind of behavior. What I would advocate even more is forgiving the person as we would want to be forgiven in our own troll behavior.
Maybe that’s the answer. Let’s imagine that some alternate reality version of our own person sits on the other side of that computer typing saying things that sometimes aren’t the smartest. Let’s treat each person as we would want to be treated in a moment of stupidity. And if it is still the case that someone would rather destroy him or her self rather than let it go maybe that person can get some insight. In any case, whatever the reason, let’s just stop saying that we want people to die.