Congratulations if you caught the Yes reference.
People think that because I am in public and look very calm even happy at times that I am not sad. That isn’t the case. I cry an insane amount by myself (which is the only way I can cry), I feel guilty, I get angry at myself and angry at my husband. The strangest thing is that all of this isn’t bitter. Yes. I miss my husband more than I could have ever imagined. However, I know I will see him again. I do feel guilty and I know I wasn’t always the best wife. However, I can confess my imperfection and receive forgiveness in Christ. So, while all of these emotions suck terribly I also have peace.
Do you know what can challenge that peace and make me want to be vindictive? Paypal. I don’t want to advocate fraud but it would have been much easier to pretend I was my husband (since I have his password) and close the account myself. But then they can prosecute you for that fraud. Let me first tell you want I wanted Paypal to do. All I want them to do is close my husband’s account which has a $0.00 balance so that people can’t accidentally send him something or try to withdraw something. They won’t do that without a copy of his will or proof that I am the executor of his will (which is pretty much the will).
Not everyone has a will. It is generally the law that unless there are strange circumstances everything simply moves to the surviving spouse when there is no will. This involves probate court and you will be named by the court as the whatever they call it. If you die without a will and the assets (property, bank accounts, cars, etc) that are not jointly held or have a named beneficiary are less than $50,000 you do not go through probate court. The surviving spouse can simply fill out a small claims affidavit, which is a notarized document. That’s it. You are done. It has been almost 4 months and every single government agency, financial institution, lending agency and utility company accepts this since it is the law. Most ask me to prove that he is dead and I am me. I have filled out a couple of affidavits. That isn’t a big deal. Even the taxes, which have frustrated me, at least have options to help a person out and try their best to be understanding.
Paypal does not play by the law even if you are not trying to get money from them. Let me say that again. I am not trying to claim anything. I want the account of my dead husband closed.
I contacted Paypal customer service yesterday. (On a side note I am beginning to truly hate the automated electronic voice system. “Hmmm… That doesn’t fit the choices I made you sit through. Let’s try again. Say: I want to pay my bill or can you please just get me to a customer service agent so I can talk to someone.”) I told the guy the situation. I faxed to Paypal his death certificate, our marriage certificate and my driver’s license. He is dead. I am his surviving spouse. I am who I am. I figured if anything since they are an out of state agency they might ask for the affidavit. Nope. They emailed me this morning. They want his will and no substitutions. Also, they will not close his account they will transfer it to my name. I never asked them to do that. I called customer service again and they said that is what they will do and what they want and there are no substitutions. Oh, and the acknowledge that I have his password and asked that I get into his account and upload files. So, they obviously have no issue with me being in his account where I could transfer all of that imaginary money anyway.
This would not piss me off so much except that my husband had a Paypal debit card solely in his name that I paid off and cancelled easily. That agency first demanded that I pay them. Fine. It was his debt, it was linked to a joint account and in AZ the spouse is liable for most of the husband’s debt upon death. (Except student loans. Thank God!) For Paypal, there is an incredible double standard when it comes to debt and accounts. Granted it was the right thing to do anyway but it is irksome.
So, what to do? I can’t make a retro-active will. I can’t go back in time and say “Pooky Bear, you are going to die soon and leave me alone so be sure to draw up a will because everything will be difficult enough without you.” At some point, being notified of his death, Paypal will need to close his account. I have decided to send them the affidavit. I have also decided to send them every documentation of my life with him. I will send them every single paper I’ve got.
I am not asking that Paypal believe me and close this account with no proof. I am not asking them for money. I am asking them to kindly give me a small amount of financial peace in knowing this account can no longer be used either for genuine or fraudulent purposes. I am asking for basic decency when it comes to something many of us will face at some point. I am asking for understanding that not everyone dies having all of their affairs in order and to understand the chaos and emotional toll that takes for the person who is now responsible for all of it. I am not asking this of the company but of the people who create and maintain the Paypal policies. People’s lives can not be made to fit your rules you must create rules that fit the lives of the people using your service.