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Lessons Learned From Sharktopus

Sharktopus is a beautiful movie.  The sharktopus is on the screen within the first 4 minutes of the movie and it begins its out of control rampage within the first 9 minutes.  Roger Corman and SyFy you are brilliant.  These are the lessons I learned from watching Sharktopus.

1. If you are going to try to control your deadly experimental hybrid animal with a head mounted electronic device be sure that the device is mounted very securely and can’t just be shaken off. 
2. The octopus half of the sharktopus is a territorial creature.  Apparently the native territory of the sharktopus isn’t the lab where it was created rather it is Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
3. Roger Corman hates Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  However, Roger Corman likes sharks.  (Check out Dinoshark.)
4. If you call your experimental sharktopus S11 you have 10 prequels just ready and waiting.
5. Military scientists never start small.  They don’t start out perfecting their control techniques on a rabmunk (rabbit/chipmunk) or a starinnow (starfish/minnow).  They think big and jump straight to the sharktopus or liosnake. 
6. Even if you just created your experimental hybrid animal weapon yesterday the real sea hardened sailors have already heard about it and have decided its the worst way to die. (“No!  Not like this!”)
7. Neither a shark nor an octopus can breathe air.  A sharktopus can.  It can also walk on land with its tentacles. So, be careful if you’re on the beach. 
8. Just like a ninja a sharktopus can be everywhere at once and can appear without warning (like that one scientist’s British accent).
9. A sharktopus can make noises like a whale, a cow, some sort of gurgling noise and they can roar.
10. The only thing a sharktopus hates more than bikini clad girls on spring break in Mexico are people who say “there is no such thing as a sharktopus”.

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